What is Your Approach With Men?

>I am reading a very interesting book at the moment, it is called "What We May Be", by Piero Ferrucci. I've included an amazon link to the book below in case you are interested in this kind of thing. I like this one particularly as it brings a new perspective to the table which I haven't had before. It's about viewing yourself from the position of an "observer", accepting everything you but not judging anything. (Ie. as good or bad, beautiful or ugly) From there, it helps you direct the different energies you have, into creating an harmonious and positive life.

The thing that I really likd about this book though is the process it follows. It starts by going through a bunch of simple concepts, the aim of which are to detach you from yourself. To get you to understand that while you feel, you are not your feelings. While you think, you are not your thoughts. These things are actually independent to and of you. Then, once you are detached, you can observe your feelings, desires and thoughts as an independant observer while experiencing them.

The great thing about this book is that while it faces many negative behaviours, (like destructive aggression) it asks you to observe them but not to judge them. So if you see yourself getting angry and smashing a plate, or a potential partner's sense of security, it suggests you recognise those feelings and outlets and just accept them. And to realise the feelings are neither good or bad.

Once you have dispassionately accepted and recognised these thoughts, feelings and reactions, the book attempts to re-order your internal process (through the use of some pretty simple visualisations) so you can harness the energy your thoughts and feelings generate, into positive actions that improve your lot in life. Imagine that, the next time you feel the onset of road rage, you channel the energy which arises from these aggressive feelings, into actions which are creative and in tune with the pursuit of your life goals.

So the idea of the book is to understand yourself, accept who you are, then to work with what you have to achieve the best you can.

When reading this though, I thought about dating and how this advice can be applied to our processes with dealing with partners. Dating and relationships bring two people together with different outlooks on life and puts them on a parallel. At the very least, your perception on things will have a whole gender of difference from your partners perception on things. Yet how often do you apply our own perception to situations when judging his actions and reactions?

Following the advice above, how much more successful would your romantic life be if you made the effort to understand him, accept who he is (knowing he is different to you) and work with the understanding of your differences to get the optimal relationship result?

This is why we often recommend the book Catch Him and Keep Him. It is really quite intuitive. It looks at the psychology of men and explains their typical re-actions to our typical actions. It will help you understand the person you are dating. Forearmed in this manner, it certainly will help you present issues to your partner in a way that will get a much better response, promoting a much better relationship outcome.